Divorce mediation can be a win-win solution that cuts financial stress and trauma.
Love is what gets couples in front of the altar. Sadly, when the passion fades and relationships get rocky, the dreaded ‘big D’ often rears its ugly head.
Getting divorced is, unfortunately, a time when many are pressed to get as far away from each other as quickly as possible. The trouble is that when emotions take over, hasty decisions are made. It is only when things have cooled down that the actual financial cost of a divorce becomes obvious.
The costs begin with changing living arrangements, followed by legal fees. If a senior family law attorney is involved, costs can range from R2,000 and R3,000 an hour. Add in the unavoidable fees of an advocate, and costs rise even faster.
If the couple cannot agree on a settlement, the cost can amount to hundreds of thousands of rands, or even millions.
The sad reality is that stress, anxiety, and the determination to emerge as a winner usually result in everyone becoming financially poorer. The longer you disagree, the more you both lose. The lawyers are the only ones who win in this case.
Throw children into the picture, and custody becomes an issue. Costs rocket when actions such as child or spousal maintenance battles are launched, or protection orders are sought, and these must be resolved before the divorce proceedings even begin.
By the time the metaphorical final bell (or, in this case, the judge’s gavel) signals the end of the fight, the impact on personal finances can be devastating and long-lasting. Many couples never recover financially post-divorce.
Mitigating the costs
Marriages involving antenuptial contracts often provide some financial cushion, as these agreements are used to guide the distribution of assets in the event of a divorce or death.
An antenuptial contract also functions as an estate planning tool, which, more than anything, sees spouses as two separate legal entities. Securing your property or other assets before the wedding ceremony, therefore, protects your assets, both before and during the marriage.
Nobody gets married with divorce in mind. However, an antenuptial contract is the easiest way of ensuring that if you part ways, each partner keeps the assets that they brought into the marriage. Also, incorporating the accrual system into an antenuptial contract provides for an equitable split of assets accumulated during the marriage.
However, the surest way of resolving this marriage crisis with dignity and enough cash to get started again is to set arguments, egos, and ill feelings aside and talk to each other. In opting for divorce, mediation can be a win-win solution that cuts stress and reduces parting costs.
Mediation has several benefits:
- It is cost-effective and affordable.
- The quicker agreement is reached, the fewer sessions are needed, and the lower the cost.
- Having an attorney or faith-based counsellor mediate means that better decisions are made.
- Discussions encourage mutually beneficial talks and final settlements.
Most problems start with one of the parties trying to outsmart the other and trying to gain more assets than the other. Consider the fact that your health is also more important than material things.
By taking the mediation route process, either with an attorney or a faith-based counsellor, both parties work to reach an agreement on the issues that have emerged from the decision to divorce. All aspects of the divorce are discussed, and terms are agreed upon and presented in court. This then becomes an uncontested divorce, and the official parting is usually finalised within a few months at a significantly lower cost.
Preparing for life after divorce
Ultimately, once the decision has been taken to call it a day on one’s marriage, the most important discussions and disputes will be about money.
It is therefore advisable for both parties to re-examine their finances and to take practical steps for their life post-divorce. These would include redrafting your will, and ensuring that your life insurance policy beneficiaries are appropriately updated.
Additional steps, such as setting up trusts for children, could also be considered, and involving a qualified financial advisor and estate planner could help re-establish your post-divorce life.
WRITTEN BY JOHN MANYIKE
John Manyike is a financial expert.
While every reasonable effort is taken to ensure the accuracy and soundness of the contents of this publication, neither writers of articles nor the publisher will bear any responsibility for the consequences of any actions based on information or recommendations contained herein. Our material is for informational purposes.
